Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Canine Being

By David


Let it not be said that the Canine Being has ever trampled the borders. No, the Canine Being does not hobble about in the flower beds, or nestle down upon the Plumbago to sleep. She is sufficiently cognizant of the boundaries within the Territory that have been established by the All Powerful Adored One so that she knows well enough where it is proper to saunter about and where it is not.

There is clearly a chasm between how the Territory is perceived by the Canine Being and how this same realm is distinguished by the All Powerful Adored One. While the Canine Being is perfectly aware of the layout of certain fixed—and to her way of thinking illogical—boundaries within the Territory, and while she understands that within these boundaries assorted flora have been established, she, being decidedly a member of the fauna division, does not comprende what any of this flora fuss is about. When it comes to appreciating the beauty of an Iris or even the olfactory delights of a Rose, she is, in fact, oblivious.

That said, woe be to any other fauna division member that dares to amble into any portion of the Territory that lies within the Canine Being’s purview. What word is the opposite of oblivious? Obsessed! Squirrels are particularly disdained in this regard. Let it be widely understood that squirrel incursions into the Territory are not countenanced by the Canine Being whilst she is on duty. Of course, should the Canine Being happen to be asleep, the squirrel can do whatever it likes.

In general the Canine Being is indifferent to the garden arts. Flower fragrances, it seems, are not nearly as fascinating as the unique scent of rabbit droppings. This is not to say that should the All Powerful Adored One come lumbering into the Garden with a wheelbarrow loaded down with a massive whatzit plant that the Canine Being will not dutifully stroll over to observe the goings on as the whatzit plant is heaved from the wheelbarrow onto the ground.

The Canine Being will even go so far as to wag the tail and sniff at the whatzit plant with a bemused tolerance that conveys her devotion to the All Powerful Adored One whilst still indicating that—to her way of thinking—it is foolish in the extreme to lug about entities which God intended to live and die in one spot. Hers is not to question such behavior, for it has been well established that the All Powerful Adored One is inscrutable when it comes to most of his activities. The Canine Being, therefore, wags her tail and hangs out her tongue, grateful that, if nothing else, the whatzit plant has gotten the All Powerful Adored One out of his easy chair.

Photo: Asia sees a squirrel – 2003 (David Greene)